Little Brother

So, Jordan is in the navy out in San Diego. He is 2 years and one Pacific tour into the deal and about to sail back out to the Persian Gulf. Im proud of him, the man he is becoming and the increasing awareness he is seeking and finding. We have long conversations about things ranging from the meaning of IT all to asinine things like genitalia size. He came home this month to spend some time with family and we kicked it tough the whole time. Sometime you're just sitting there, living life and all that consists of... then it happens. Something changes. The phone rang and something changed for us. Especially for him. Uncle Chris checked out. We all have sadness and struggles, some you can see, some you cant, some we find freedom from, some we allow to destroy us. Chris seemed complete in every way but apparently something inside got away from him. May his soul know peace now. My dad, Jordan and i went down to Loiusiana together to pick up the pieces and do our best to honor him. I got to see Jordan walk through all of this and rise up to the helm and make the decisions that no one else was entitled or worthy of making. Sleep deprived and sad, we all balanced each other out and made it through. On the way back we stopped in Lafayette and found an asian guy in a hammock who cooked us 5 pounds of crawfish. We ate it under a tree. As long as i live, this will be one of my favorite memories. Back home, the smoke cleared mildly and it was apparent we had done something big and come out the other side bigger. And closer. He is back in San Diego now. His ship sails on the 31st of May. The closer we get the more difficult that separation becomes but i know we are both moving in beautiful directions and that everything is in its right place. One time i was in a grocery store with Jordan and i started to explain to him all of these good things i was doing. He stopped me abruptly and told me i could show him better than i could tell him. I wont forget that. I wont forget the gratitude that i have that he and i both live lives of positive demonstration. I wont forget that outward and socially acceptable versions of success sometimes arent enough and that great men like Uncle Chris have died by failing to treat the spiritual malady that we as humans all seem to have. I wont forget to share that message with others and to remember that my mission here is to be a piece of the solution. I hope you are all well, spending time with the Jordans in your own lives and making your time here count. I AM.